In a way I guess I have intentionally put myself on the sidelines of this hobby. Creating and photography has become a very much pick it up and put it down act where it used to be more regimented. I think a big change is that I am more regimented in my daily life now vs. being the opposite when it comes to photography. I guess that is why lately a lot of my photos don’t have any people in them. They are more little moments that I have found around the house or out and about when the ordinary tries to show off when it thinks no one is looking. I want to get back to putting people in my photographs, but I think I am still searching for the right reason (or still becoming the person that I need to be) to start doing that again.

Planning and "inspiration" are in no short supply. I am constantly getting excited about projects and then the act of seeing them through becomes the actual obstacle. Honestly, I am most likely sitting on several projects in the backlog of film that needs to be developed and work that could be revisited. Perfectly content going the Vivian Maier route and having someone else sort through all of this shit way after I am gone to make sense of it, but you can only be so lucky in photography.

The themes that always run in the background of the things we create always seem to come from somewhere. I had a friend ask me what I was trying to say with my work one time and I gave all the cliché answers and he refused to accept it.

The gnarly part is I don't think I will truly be able to get back on this horse until I can have an answer for that question that fulfills whatever the need for wanting to continue doing all of this in the first place.

I'll give you a pro-tip you won't always find from a YouTuber.

Sometimes (read most times) this photography shit sucks and you have no clue what you're doing or if you are just wasting a bunch of time and money.....and then you take photograph you really like.